A Cardinal Moment

The sun glows bright behind the night,

My eyes too blind to see,

Until a shining  piece of life,

Flips his tail at me.

Crimson wings slice through the doom,

A candle in the dark,

Fanning the fire within my heart,

That last redeeming spark.

The Razors Edge (Trigger warning: Self Harm)

The numbness spreads like a second skin,
sealing pain and grief within,
beneath the skin, the fires burn,
the hammers beat and the razors turn,
but on the surface, all is ice,
and no one sees you pay the price.

The ritual makes it seem less real,
glinting light on shining steel,
carefully folded tissue, clean,
and music, just to set the scene.
The first slice, shallow, taste of pain,
release draws the blade down, again and again.

The blood wells up and trickles down,
as if it yearns to touch the ground,
to sink into the welcoming earth,
symbolic death, before rebirth.
Rebirth, release, regeneration,
pain returns; with it, sensation.

Crimson red on virgin white,
the sting of air, the metals bite,
all these and more to break the skin,
and let the world come pouring in.
Soon salt tears join the brilliant red,
a waterfall too long unshed.

And after, shame, sharp as a vice,
as those around you pay the price,
in fear, concern, and ignorance,
and once again, the merry dance.
“how could you, why would you, doesn’t it hurt?”
“you scare me, i love you, here’s a long shirt…”

The vows of “No more!” and “Never again!”,
knowing it’s all just a game of pretend,
that somewhere, tucked safely, the sweet release lurks,
it will happen again, as long as it works,
as long as it cuts through the numbness that spreads,
coating the world in blacks, greys…and reds.

My Alice

Frantic and flailing, panicked and pained,
she moves through her day like a whirlwind in chains,
Her body is fragile, and so is her heart,
her eyes burn in her face as they scamper and dart,
Her mind searches, desperate, for something she’s lost,
letting the ones she has left pay the cost.
Constant apologies fall from her lips,
as she races, and runs, and falters and trips,
One day she’ll fall where there’s nowhere to land,
and I’ll lose yet another, a thought I can’t stand,
But for now I’ll stay constant, and help where I must,
and try not to watch as she crumbles to dust.

I haz award!

Well, since I’ve been here over a whole month, and have more than 50 followers now, but still no awards ( *sob-sob, pout*) I decided to take matters into my own hands and steal one!  (it doesn’t matter that she was giving them away anyway…I stoled it fair and square!)  So here it is…my firstest award!  Yay me!  (Also, since it seems that I am an idjit…(who knew?)…who can’t figure how to link to a picture, here is the place I stoled’em from…go get one of your own, she’ll never notice, just got’em all laying around the place… )

PS: No feelings were hurt in the making of this post, the sarcasm guard was fully in effect, and these are not the droids you’re looking for.  Right?  Right.