A poetic journey through my mind

Archive for June, 2012


Mystics and mantras
and telling of the truth,
Minds hard as diamond,
yet flexible as youth,
Peace in disconnection,
connecting to the all,
Knowing how far up to climb,
and how far down to fall,
How to see the nights glow
and how dark the day can shine,
These and many more I know,
and I will make them mine.

Teh Book of Face

Ohhh, Facebook yer the divil, yer leading me astray,
Y’say yer games are free-to-play, and yet I have to pay,
with gardens and cute animals, you stole my soul away,
oh, Facebook yer a terrible addiction!

Doug Baldauf #3: A darker side.


Alone and cold
I walk this winter beach
watching for the sun
that hasn’t shown its face
to make its presence known
before it slips
behind the darker colder gray
dividing night from day
and earth from sky.

I wonder at the gulls
and do their feathers keep them warm
and think of summer
(will it ever come?)

And when will I grow up
or did I years ago
when I heard there was no Santa Claus.


Don’t ask so many questions
prying makes me nervous
can’t you love me without owning me?
what’s inside me
I hardly understand myself.

I saw a deer in a National Park
She ran free and wild
but safe she knew
if she stayed within her boundaries
I spoke gently to her
and she came close enough
to eat crumbs from the palm of my hand.

Then she ran away to her snowy woods
as quickly as she came.

But later
as I walked along that same road
she came down through the trees
to see me again
I loved her for that.

I don’t need you all the time
but I need you
And I can love you better
when you give me room to breathe.


The deviant moon shines up above,

The paper lies naked before me,

I call to the words that lay all about,

But they only laugh, and ignore me.

I coax and cajole, I whine and I beg,

I promise them ice cream, or candy,

I throw temper fits, I scream and I hit,

Beat my head onto anything handy.

Finally, finally, they rise and they stretch,

And lazily saunter toward me,

And one after one, they crawl onto the page,

Like a present they brought to reward me.

I shake my head, sigh, and shift them around,

Like a puzzle, link one to another,

Obedient now, they slip into place,

Each one lying next to its brother.

I pet and I praise them, each adverb and noun,

I treat them with care and with love,

As they lie on the paper, so proud and so true,

And the deviant moon shines above.


Doug Baldauf #2: Love Poems


you came along
to fill my heart
with warmth and joy
I only found before
in summer mornings
I promise not to hassle you
for being hard to figure
difficult to reach
and impossible not to love



For your patience
For your sense of humor
For always being there
For taking me to Hawaii
But most of all
for loving me
a long time now

I ironed all your shirts today
fourteen of them


From “Barefoot on Warm Sidewalks” by Doug Baldauf, c. 1975

Endemic to the Species

Attitude, prejudice, rumour and lies,

disdain radiates from bright painted eyes,

crossed arms and tapping feet, a language unread 

that poisons the air with words left unsaid,

laughter with ill intent, anger for fun,

cliques form and break like ice in the sun,

whispers and secrets and rumours and pain,

it circles around me again and again, 

as I watch it go by, my eyes see the truth,

the name on the signboard, “The Carousel of Youth”

Pitch Party!

My 25 word pitch for my book, Blue and Grey, is up for dissecting over at Madisons blog.  If you want, run on over there, check it out, and give me your honest opinion…would you buy it?  😉


Edit: Since Madison has moved, I’ll put the pitch here, in case anyone digs and finds this post.  😉

Blue, an unwilling cat shapeshifter, and Grey, a master burglar and shapeshifting fox, form an uneasy alliance in a post-apocalyptic city.

I can haz ‘nother reward!








Yay me!  Waaay back when, in a time long gone…or maybe it was a few weeks ago, whatever…my gal-bud Cyril gived me this award, and now I can finally properly thank her for it, and attempt to follow the rules like a good girl.  Really.  I promise.

This is a relatively simple one:

1. Thank the person who nominated me
2. Share 7 things about myself
3. Pass the award to 7 nominees


1)  Thank you -tons-, Cyril my friend.  You have been so patient, and I really appreciate it.  That, and I love this award.  At least the art/graphic on it.  It’s so…Victorian/Steam-age.  *hugs*  JK…I love the whole award.  Very Inspiring is what I find this entire strange virtual playspace we live in, and being inspiring right back at them is one of my goals.  🙂


2)  Hrrm.  7 things.  Must think of something about me that -hasn’t- already been plastered all over this and many other blogs.  ;p

a) I haz a hat!  Seriously, I love hats.  I mostly wear my ears, these days, but I’m working on a bigger pair so I can wear them with my hats.  I have a “genuine” Indiana Jones hat, with the little tag and all, from Vegas.  I have a purple felt fedora.  I have a promotional giveaway Batgirl gimme cap, camo with the batgirl sign on front in shinies. (special to me, cause it was given to me by my brother who was killed 7 yrs. ago last Sunday. He got it as store manager at the BP where he got shot. *sadface*) I have a ballcap to match most of my outfits (Yay, Walmart. >;<)…blue denim, black cotton, olive green…the troops favorite is the pink one with the pink sequins -all- over it.  Yup.  Love them hats.  Oh!  I haz a hot pink knitted cap with a bobble dealie on top!  Kept waiting for it to get cold enough last winter to justify wearing it, but not so much.  Fl. winter this year = non-existant.

b)  I spend too much.  On a smaller scale, because I have a smaller amount to spend, but still.  $700 a month disability check with a $425 car payment coming out of it doesn’t leave much to play with…but I still do.  Haven’t missed a car payment yet…I love my baby-girl, and won’t do anything to risk her…but other little things?  Like food?  Shyeah, right.  I’m throwing $30 at Teh Book of Face to play stupid little slots games that don’t even give you real money back!  I spend too much.  (I did find some -adorable- pink-leopard spotted fleece (2 yds, $10) and the same in cotton (1 yd, $5) at Walmart.  That’s what I get for wandering past the craft section…>;<)

c)  I want a Rottweiler puppy.  I want one that will grow into a great big lug like my friend Kenet’s dog, Angus.  Head bigger than -mine-.  Sweetest, smartest, sneakiest baby ever…until mine.  *grins*  And I will love him and pet him and squeeze him and call him George.  Or Frank.  Or “Root of all Evil”…Cookie for short.

d)  I love -weird- musicals.  Some of them are nothing but soundtrack, parodies of other musicals.  A few of my favorites:  Reefer Madness The Musical, Cannibal The Musical, A Shoggoth on the Roof, Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  There are more, but I can’t think of them right now. 😉

e)  I’m a sucker for weird/strange/silly candy.  Can’t go into a truck stop with cash in my pocket, I’ll come out with a handful of Lightsaber lollipops (“They really light up!”) which I love because the pop tastes like cotton candy, or The Worlds Longest Candy Necklace, which would be awesome, if the candy tasted at -all- edible.  blech.  Stuff like that.  Or a silly little souvenir thingie, especially if it’s a stuffie, or a lighter, or depending which side of the MD Line we’re on, either a nifty rock, carved or not…or a shell or shark-tooth, usually made into some sort of jewelry.  Love that stuff.

f)  On a related note, I was training to be a long-haul trucker when my RA decided to show its ugly face.  I’d spent 20 some years flat on my duff, scared to risk my disability income by trying to work, and getting more and more dissatisfied and bored.  I had -always- wanted to drive a truck, always been fascinated by them, so when I learned that the local community college had a 3 month course, I went for it.  My fat lazy rear walked a mile to the nearest city transit stop, in February, in Salt Lake UT, before the sun came up, every morning for 4 months.  Then from the bus to the electric train thingie to the stop half a mile from the school, to school.  Hadn’t been in school since 20, hadn’t driven (anything!) for more than a year, total…let’s just say it was…fun.  Would’ve made it, too…except that I kinda choked at intersections.  I was fine on the highway.  I was awesome on the highway.  But in town, with people waiting on me, and trying to slip past me, and ignoring my blindspots, and honking if/when I couldn’t get the air-brakes off fast enough to make it through the light…not so much.  Even took an extra month, to try to fix it…but they finally had to just tell me to go home.  But I tried!  I stuck to it, for the first time!  I am proud of that.  And now, locked somewhere in my head, are the names of -every- single piece of a diesel tractor engine, wires, parts, shocks, lights, panels, etc.  But I’ll prolly just stick with calling them all thingamajigs, or doohickeys.  ;p

g)  I “rescue” dog toys.  Mostly the little stuffies.  I look at this cute little critter, usually hand-sized, whose ultimate destiny is to die shredded to tiny pieces by some ugly little yippy-yappy…and I just have to rescue it.  Of course I can’t buy -all- the stuffies…can’t even buy more then one of the same kind.  But I just consider them…clones, kinda.  So if I rescue the one, I’ve rescued them all, by default.  *g*


Ok, that’s 7.  And it’s 8.  In the morning.  So I think I’ll hold off on the nominations till later.  Me go sleep now, kay?  *lix*





Doug Baldauf #1

(*pouts*  Dougs poems are uniquely shaped, some lines out, some under, etc. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have the tech./html knowledge to make WP do the formatting correctly, so we’ll just have to settle for this.  🙂 )




For Larry, the kids, the cats,

and me.

For our good times,

our awful times.

For the times when no castle built

could be big enough.

For the times when our tiny den

by the fire

is just right.

For the laughter, the learning,

the fighting and forgiving.

But especially for the love

we have

while growing up together

under one roof.


The First Poem


Barefoot on warm sidewalks

I’ve hop scotched

through more than thirty summers

And thought that daffodils

invented the color yellow

for as many springs.

Up to my knees in leaves

through autumns

I’ve wandered

till I’ve landed


in winters bed

to make angels in the snow.


So many things I’ve done and seen

in all my seasons

but Christmas Eve I found just once

in a pair of eyes.


From “Barefoot on Warm Sidewalks” by Doug Baldauf, c. 1975

Password for whining posts. ;)

Just to give possible new visitors (or old ones) the chance to punish themselves by reading all the long whining/ranting posts that will from now on be over on VASN (my other blog) with a link here…

Password is:   Whines   Feel free to read them…I just didn’t want to get them mixed up with the poems, and don’t know how to transfer them.  😉