A poetic journey through my mind

Civilization (for Friday Fictioneers photo prompt)

fireworks-lora-mitchell2

 

Huddled together under the dubious safety of the Bridge, the Less watched the poisonous beauty rain down from the sky. They called them “Civs”, those who sent the terror, the flowers of sickness and death. Civs, short for civilized, for those who thought themselves risen past all ugliness and filth, all hunger, pain, and anger.

In the City, all was beauty and grace, peace and love. In the buildings so tall and willowy; grown, not created. Grown of the plague that was destroying humanity. The living seed of evil, machines smaller than the very air itself…machines that “fixed” everything, everywhere.

Gone was individuality, a cause for strife; property, breeder of jealousy; anger, pain, trauma…imagination, creativity, life.

Barely clinging to existence, those who called themselves The Less…careless, feckless, reckless…faceless…fought, carrying out a losing war against the Seed.

Soon, all would be at peace…beauty and grace rule the world. And as they watched the beautiful death that came for them, its light illuminating the shadows and dirt in which they existed…most of them could not regret its coming.

 

(whoops…forgot the linkie thing. Lots of neat little stories here. Go check’em out!)

9 responses

  1. The beginning of this reminded me of the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld; it has that same unique quality. I love your style; it absolutely pulled me in. I love the idea you had here, and where it ended up.

    January 5, 2013 at 8:12 am

  2. You’ve illustrated just why the rights of individuals are so important and the freedom to make mistakes and not always have everything be perfect. Well done!

    January 5, 2013 at 11:08 am

  3. Frighteningly possible, beautifully written. bravo!

    January 5, 2013 at 5:36 pm

  4. Nice. I like the way you described the ‘Less’… clever writing.

    January 6, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    • p.s. welcome to FriFic, K!

      January 6, 2013 at 1:28 pm

  5. Dear KC,

    Loved to nod to Nano-tech. Great story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    January 6, 2013 at 7:43 pm

  6. if you were working on keeping it to 100 words, you didn’t need the repetition of “gone was…” it’s a great device that i use, and i probably use it too much, so it depends on how you were sticking with 100 words. well done.

    January 7, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    • KC

      Good point. One of my biggest challenges in writing is writing small. As you’ve most likely noticed, I can’t even write a small, short comment or reply! ;p So I’ll keep that advice in mind, as I work on getting smaller. *grins* Maybe I just need to find a magic mushroom…”one side makes you larger, and the other makes you smaller”

      January 7, 2013 at 5:19 pm

      • would love to find that mushroom too.

        January 7, 2013 at 5:49 pm

Talk to me, people! ;)

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