A poetic journey through my mind

Fiction Relay #27: The Suzi Saga

This is part 27 of the Fiction Relay serial story, following the adventures and misadventures of Suzi and those she impacts.  To read the rest of the story, or just see a summary so far, go here.  To see who is crazy enough to play this game, and see how you might join the insanity, go here.

Ok…keep in mind that I’m writing this late, and a bit…distracted, so be patient with it.  There’s a -teeny- bit of backtracking, but not that much, promise.  ;p

Melissa is strangely subdued as Sam and Ephraim wrestle her into Ephraims cuffs and drag her back up the hill to the lab to put her in one of the cells for safekeeping. Keeping herself contained, whats left of her sanity curled around the secret held deep inside…the treasure she stole from the bitch’s daughter. In her mind, deep inside, the voice whispers old commands, old orders, and she takes dark joy in squashing them, silencing the whispers with a slash of thought, a whip of power. Now she is the one in charge…the one with the power of life and death. Now they will all see. They’ll find out who the important one is. The one who should have been. As she hears the footsteps fade into the distance, crossing from the stone floor of the cavern to the soft earth outside, the impulse breaks free, and she begins to laugh…a mad, manic laugh, on the close side of hysteria, that rings in the stone-walled cell like a bell.

Ephraim shivers as they leave the lab, a flash of vision crossing his mind. Again, the triumphant gaze of a dead man leers at him before morphing into the figure of a desperately weeping Melissa…curled at the feet of a humongous statue of Suzi/Meghan. Shaking it off, he continues toward the house with Sam.

Meanwhile, miles down the road, Suzi…no, Meghan…leans her forehead against the cool glass of the rigs backseat window. The driver, having noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the slumped posture of exhaustion, suggested that she take a nap in the back, on the small bed/seating area. So far, however, sleep has eluded her…so she stares out the window into the distance, although the scenery does not impact her view. Her mind is full of memories…thoughts of her little girl…her little Samantha…Sammy. It’s been years since she thought of her, since the memory wipe she’d performed on herself to protect the child. Now she stares out the window, into the deepening dusk of the mountain road, and sees instead a pair of brilliant blue eyes in a pixie-like face…blond curls she inherited from her father, and tiny size from her mother. She wonders what happened, how she is doing…what she looks like…and whether she could ever forgive her for abandoning her, so long ago.

Further down the same road, a slim figure hunches over her motorcycle, to cut wind resistance, all senses alert for a taste of her mother. For that elusive feeling that is Meghan…the arrogance of the truly powerful, accompanied by sheer competence and grace. But as at the lab, she gets no trace. Only a fleeting glimpse, a whiff, of the mask willingly put on, the face she lives behind…Suzi. All sweetness and light, confused innocence…Blue shakes her head in disgust. Once she finds her, once they are together again, she will make sure that the Suzi personality is shattered, stripped away, leaving only Meghan…only the one person more powerful than herself. Once she rejoins her mother, and they are able to work together…she shakes her head. What can’t they do? Certainly not bow down to the Club any longer. Maybe they’ll just take it over…or destroy it entirely. And Ephraim…and Sam, her father? Well, they’d be useful, in a weak sort of way. Their powers are nothing, compared to Meghan at full capacity. Let alone Blue and Meghan working together…these thoughts comfort her, and accompany her down the winding road, as she moves unknowingly farther and farther away from from her goal.

Back in the lab, Melissa sits on the floor of the cell, making herself as comfortable as possible on the cold stone. What she is about to do will require her full concentration for success, so clearing away all distracting bodily messages is essential. Prepared, finally, she bows her head, reaching deep deep inside, reaching for the flickering spark that is her newly borrowed treasure. Carefully, she pictures herself holding the tiny spark, and mentally “blowing” on it until it blooms into full strength, a white-hot fireball in her mental “hands”. Gritting her teeth against the pain of the fire, feeling her mind scorched and battered by the strength of the power…but her desperate concentration holds, and she is able to shape the fire into what she needs. The tiny white phoenix sits in her “hands”, sparks flying off it in all directions, egg shell bits made of pure white stone all around. Grinning, she leans down and whispers to it, giving it concise directions…and as it glows a bit brighter, a bit hotter, burning sparks flying and alighting on her skin…it lifts off and flies away, through the door and down the hall, searching. Riding with it, mentally, Melissa directs the creature until it reaches its destination…the recently deceased body of Raj.

Melissa laughs in triumph…a strange sound that seems to come from two throats at once. Giving the little phoenix a mental push, she watches as it sinks into the dead mans chest…and gloats as it begins to rise and fall, despite the bubbling of the blood at his slit throat. After an endless period of waiting, she laughs again, a much more normal sound, as his eyes open, a look of confusion in them. Tugging an invisible cord, she watches as the corpse stands, and makes its slow shuffling way toward her cell.


And with that, it’s on to Dawn!  Have fun!  *insert evil laugh #34, the “Evil Dictator”*

17 responses

  1. a slash of thought, a whip of power… good stuff! Loved the ending… even though I can’t abide Raj, and tried to kill him off for good. The Melissa thing was well done… and Blue, nicely developed, KC.

    April 12, 2013 at 2:34 am

  2. Startling writing as always. You have such a visual style, the phoenix was brilliantly described and i love the fact Raj is back from the dead. (Makes me feel sorry for Gino though, is noone going to bring him back? ;)) I like how Melissa is now becoming the superior in her relationship with Raj, a nice subplot development. Suzi’s sense of loss brought on by her memories returning is a nice bitter/sweet touch too.
    I like how this saga is revealing itself as Melissa v Blue. Who knew eh?

    April 13, 2013 at 3:23 am

  3. Oh, and thanks for telling us Blue’s other name, i like having another dual name. Especially one so close to “Sam” 🙂

    April 13, 2013 at 3:29 am

    • KC

      *grins* “Startling” hmm? I like you. You give me such unique compliments. ;p

      Seriously, though, thank you. I love detailed comments, and all of you have been really helpful with that. 🙂

      Blue is, obviously, named for her father…and I love girls with boys names. Charlie, Rory, Sam, Billy, Reese, Bobbie, Chris, Jesse…etc. I suppose I should be pc and say “gender neutral” names….but I don’t wanna. I think the story behind why a girl was named for or has a male-influenced name or nickname can make for interesting story starting ideas. TL:DR version…thank you. ;p

      The phoenix idea…well, I do love picture-scenes…so much so that sometimes I worry that descriptions take up so much space there’s no room for character development or story. 😦 But as it’s my style, so far, I’ll just have to work on it if it begins to be an issue, I suppose.

      As for Raj…well, I suppose it’s up to Dawn, but as of now, he’s only -somewhat- back…*grins, evilly* The term Shield Wall comes to mind…

      Can’t wait to see what Dawn comes up with!


      April 13, 2013 at 3:43 am

      • “I worry that descriptions take up so much space there’s no room for character development or story” – but the description of the phoenix and Melissa’s emotions as she used it were ALL about character and story development. That’s what made it doubleplusgood, classic “show dont tell”. We had a peek inside her head, and Raj coming back (in itself, and the way/reason it was done) are all potential branches if future plot.
        Anyway, i say a writer should ALWAYS write for themselves.

        April 13, 2013 at 3:50 am

        • KC

          *hugs* Thank you again…that does help. 🙂 Also, I wanted to say thanks again for this whole idea…it’s really good for me (as well as tons of fun!) as it gives me practice at sharing. *g* I have to remember not to get too grabby and bossy about who’s doing what next, and relax and throw the lines out…so far it’s all been much more fun than what I would have thought of! 😉


          April 13, 2013 at 4:00 am

          • Oh i love the relay. Ive done duet exercises before but nothing on this scale. It is good practice at fiction prompting as you never know what you will have to follow, it ensures a good standard of work as we all have to match the high quality, and it’s like a literary chinese whispers – you drop a line in or feed a scene and something different comes back. I learnt very early it’s not worth having an idea of where the PLOT is headed because it won’t be the same by the time you get it back. CHARACTER however is a constant(ish) thing so you can define someone and it sticks. At least until it changes haha – look how far Melissa has come since she employed Suzi at the diner in Part One.
            But most importantly, yes it is FUN!

            April 13, 2013 at 4:08 am

  4. Well done on this! You’ve made me incredibly curious about what will happen next!

    April 13, 2013 at 8:12 am

    • KC

      *laughs* Thanks! Me too! 😉

      April 13, 2013 at 8:43 am

  5. Excellent I am enjoying this. 😉

    April 14, 2013 at 4:13 am

    • KC


      April 14, 2013 at 8:34 am

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  7. Pingback: Fiction Relay — Part 28 | The Mouse's Soapbox

  8. Finally just got around to reading today! Nicely done, as always, KC. 🙂 I’ve tried to build on what you’ve done here. (Just posted part 28.)

    April 18, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    • KC

      Just got done reading! Awesome stuff as usual! Putting the focus back on Suzi where it belongs. 🙂

      This is so fun…can’t wait to see how far it goes from here!

      April 18, 2013 at 4:45 pm

      • Thanks! I know, right? How much fun is this ride? 🙂

        I keep getting ideas about what I do next with the storyline, but it’s not all up to me. And then the next person… and the next… all get different ideas and it makes the story even better!

        April 18, 2013 at 4:47 pm

        • KC

          Yup! I have to reread from the beginning each time, trying to keep all the threads straight and still weave my own in with them. 😉

          April 19, 2013 at 1:09 am

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